Well I’m feeling a little sad today as I cut my nails. I wanted to play guitar. So I played guitar today and I love my new track “Down with the Sickness”. So playing guitar made me feel happy. But I still feel sad.
Anyway I’m trying to do well even though I have temporarily stopped my meds. I also made my skin blue and more alien looking in my new star trek photo manipulation. Photos and Music Making makes me feel happy. When I think about it it’s not all bad in my life, but I do struggle with things, which brings me down. I just have to imagine I’ll get there in the end.
Well I’m just having some beer and wine this afternoon, just relaxing. Probably going up and seeing my parents this weekend, I haven’t seen them in awhile.
Quotes on My Song.
-Morgan “Cool groove”
-Rachael “I like the contrast between this and your other works. A more laid back groove“
I have my latest song that you can stream below.
Well it’s mid-afternoon right now just on 3PM so time to go and enjoy the rest of my afternoon and into the evening, catcha, Ali,xx.
View My Photo and Stream my latest song “Down with the Sickness” below. 1:31 Minutes Duration.
Well I am feeling really happy this evening. I said I would put up my hand picture so here it is. Showing my long nails. Well I’m having some wine, beer and coffee this evening. Celebrating my efforts. That photo of my hand I took myself. I’m really happy with how it came out.
Sometimes you have to try and turn away from the bad and focus on the good. I’m really enjoying these good times that I have been having lately. As I say it’s not easy living with mental illness so debilitating it is. People don’t understand the extent of my illnesses, even my friends don’t understand me and why I do such things, they don’t try to understand, I should get rid of them.
Well my hand picture below and my star-trek photo in my previous blog I’m really happy with. It makes me happy and that’s all that matters to me. Same with my music. Thanks to those that do support and encourage me especially my fans, some friends (some of my closest ones) and family.
Well just having some Hungry Jacks, why does their burgers feel like your eating salt directly from a salt shaker. It’s disgusting. Well I guess they are trying to make their burgers addictive and salt is addictive. But honestly they taste sickening. Last time I go there for something quick.
Anyway it’s just on 7:30PM this evening so time to go and enjoy the rest of my evening. Thanks, catcha, Ali,xx.
Well to start off with I’m a huge Star Trek fan I love it. Just watched the movie Beyond on Saturday night just gone and it got me in the mood to do this photo-shoot I was thinking of doing. I even got long nails put on for it. I must say it’s a little interesting to get used to the long nails especially typing on my computer and texting on my phone. Also some day-day activities are a little challenging too. Also in addition I can’t play my guitar but that’s ok, I needed a break from it.
So anyway back to this Star Trek theme I found I didn’t have too much trouble with the hand gesture and I made myself into a little Vulcan Alisha haha with pointy ears.
Overall at first I didn’t like the photo maybe because I was smiling in it; as I’m not used to smiling, I think that’s why. But I have come to like it today. Yay for Vulcan Ali, hahahahaha!! So anyway it was a huge amount of fun doing it yesterday haha. I really had a lot of fun with my photographer, thanks to Fiona for the photo. Well it’s my time to reach for the stars and hold my head up. It’s good to have some good moments as last week I was feeling quite rubbish.
So anyway just relaxing now and enjoying my photo. I’ll probably do another blog soon featuring my hand showing my long nails. So that’s what is coming up next. But for now “Live long and prosper.” All the best, catcha, Ali,xx.
(click on image for large view)
Ahh hell, I’m upset with myself and grumpy I hate everything right now. I’m falling mentally unwell again but this time in a big way and I feel I can’t do anything right. I should be happy but I’m not, what should I be happy about.
Alisha your fucked in the head, I hate myself so much. I don’t know what to do, I’m so secluded, and have nothing in my life. One day I’ll cut myself and I’ll get a blood infection and die yay for me, would love it to happen I hate this life. Everybody hates what I do so why live to listen to everybody criticising me.
Go to fucking HELL Alisha. Drown in your mental illness you fucking bitch.
Anyway I’m really wanting to destroy myself right now I can’t find a way through the illness and my damaged life. Anyway I’m going to go now and cry, I hate myself so much, catcha, Ali,xx.
Well it’s been quite a while since I did a blog update. So I better kick off my party night tonight with some celebrations. First up I did a photo-shoot yesterday for a band artist profile picture for an artist profile that Howard Billington is doing for me over at in-a-spin music. The photo is a grumpy Alisha gesturing the Metal Devil Horns \m/.
I have been doing some music making but I have been taking it slowly. I have been doing more old school metal like hair bands of the 80’s Black Sabbath comes to mind and Motor Head and other hair bands like Megadeth etc. I have my latest song you can stream by following this link to the song called “AliMetal” https://alishapoor.bandcamp.com/album/her-blackened-heart-ep
which will give you an indication of the style I’m experimenting with in Drop D tuning. The song is called “Ali Metal”. Also it’s an instrumental so just guitars, drums and bass. No vocals.
Well I have been a little unwell mentally early this week but I am feeling a lot better today. I have had a disturbed start to the week, with hearing voices and self harm the week before. Though I think things are getting better as we close out the working week today, this Friday afternoon.
I’ll leave you with my highlight for the week my Artist Profile Photo. It’s quite dark which is to suite my style of music, Metal!! A thanks goes out to Fiona for taking the photo.
Well time to go and enjoy the rest of my afternoon with some drinks this evening. So time to celebrate my weeks efforts and party this evening, catcha, Ali,xx.